I have seen a 4860 YG at WEMPE (the most famous dealer in Europe) several weeks ago in Germany. Luckily, WEMPE has a branch in New York. Call them and they can probably bring you one from their European stock.
Add: WEMPE USA 700 Fifth Avenue & 55th Street New York, NY 10019 USA +1 212-397-9000
Since you are on the west coast (?), check Carl Greve in Portland (Oregon) for 4860 stock. I have been there several times and sometimes they have sought-after models that other bigger dealer don't have.
Add: Carl Greve Downtown Portland 731 SW Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97205 Telephone 503-223-7121
Except that you really like big watches, I guess the 36mm Lange 1815 is too big for most Asian ladies. The 1815 is an excellent dress watch designed for gentelman. Maybe your husband should have a try!
I have seen, however, European ladies wear 1815 as well as PP5054. No wonder, they are very tall and have big wrists.
PP 4860 is as decent for a lady as 1815 for a gentelman.
The Grand One has a slightly different dial design.
You are right, normally watches with dark dials (e.g. black or blue) look smaller than those with light dials (e.g. silvery or white). I once tried a Patek 5035 in white gold with silvery dial and found it looked great on my wrist. However, the white gold one with black dial looked so badly small!
As far as this pink gold Lange 1 (38.5mm) with black dial is concerned, I find the size is just perfect for me. I even tried the Petit Lange One (36.5mm) of this combination, it looked also nice on my wrist.
Here the tricky thing is: although PP5035 is 37mm, it has a wide bezel which makes the dial smaller. The Lange One instead has a relative thin bezel thus a bigger dial.